Knowing and Growing

This book explores how we can grow our own and others' insight to become our best selves and be able to help others to do likewise. The ideas are useful to parents, teachers, lecturers, coaches, youth workers and leaders in organisations, all of whom often help others to be all they can be.

This book helps us to learn from our relationships and to apply these insights to the way we conduct future relationships. It helps us make sense of how our inspirers and drainers have affected us, and shows readers how to pass the precious self-motivation baton on to others.

Knowing and Growing presents identity as a fresh and indispensable way of thinking about individuals and as the key to personal and collective growth. The knowledge that we can grow our identity throughout our lives is perhaps the most empowering gift that we can share with others.

This extraordinary book provides insights and practical tools to help you navigate everyday human interactions, balance your own and others’ needs and utilise your emotions to create a more fulfilling life. Drawing on decades of experience, Alan McLean argues persuasively that it is identity, not personality, which is the key to personal growth. The powerful insights which readers glean from ‘McLean’s Ring’ are not only helpful for parents, teachers and leaders they are also essential for anyone aiming to encourage others to grow and develop as individuals.
Carol Craig
Chief Executive of the Centre for Confidence and Wellbeing

Alan McLean shows a profound regard for people and writes with an essential quality of hope. The book integrates learning from different disciplines of psychology into a coherent framework for understanding how people grow to know themselves. This is then unpacked in a number of powerful tools that can help individuals, teams and organisations to grow in awareness and efficacy. It is a major contribution to the subject of mental well-being.
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Derek Brown
Head of Education
Fife Council

McLean’s Ring of Preferences gives us a deep understanding of ourselves and our relationships. How to balance these preferences is an essential theme to be pursued by all not only in eastern culture but in western countries. The preferences are powerful concepts for increasing happiness, peace and productivity.
Ayako Ito
Associate Professor
Graduate School of Humanities and Sciences
Ochanomizu University
Tokyo, Japan

Alan McLean is a psychologist who has developed interesting and important tools for developing ourselves and others, which he summarises in this insightful and practical guide. The most important themes are the way we navigate live through emotions and the priority of identity over personality, which is discussed in some detail. The author argues that our identity shapes how we feel about ourselves and is the key to personal growth, while personality is a vehicle. The book explains how to balance meeting our own needs with those of others and explores various personal styles and their implications. He makes an important distinction between personal autonomy characterised by making our mark, and the shared autonomy of being part of things, summarising this in what he calls the ring of preferences; indeed, there are many helpful diagrams throughout the book. Another interesting theme is styles of influence, balancing support with challenge. The chapter on growing insight defines personal insight as understanding ourselves within our relationships and knowing how others see us - he gives various tips for developing this as well as exploring our identity. Alan distils a lifetime of reflection and practice into this guide, which makes it essential reading for anyone interested in personal and professional development.
David Lorimer
Programme Director
Scientific and Medical Network
Editor, Paradigm Explorer